April 2, 2008

Virgin Festival Announces Wig Scramblingly Weak Lineup


Ever think it would be possible to artificially cultivate the glob of summer stain that is the Pimlico Race Course, but don't have the money to test your theory? No worries.

In his boldest move yet, daredevil Richard Branson will attempt to culture a petri dish of egg salad spanning more than 100 acres wide with a steady two-day shite n' korn diet consisting of Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters, Jack Johnson and Nine Inch Nails (hesitate to even type all of those words in one sentence lest Google's spiders think we're tools). No word yet on how tickets work, for example do you pay them to go, do they pay you, etc., or when Puddle of Mudd will sign on for the d-bag coup d'état.

Yo La Tengo - The Weakest Part (live)
The Streets - Weak Become Heroes
Wu-Tang Clan - Weak Spot

2 comments:

Spikey said...

but cmon, i really want to relive the 90s. dont you? pimples and high school!

in all seriousness though...foo fighters at 930 club were amazing. as were STP back-to-back with Rage against the machine in the pouring rain at HFStival.

but what the hell contract did jack johnson sign this year?

brokenbike said...

barf. what horrible headliners.